How To Escape From a Zombie Apocalypse!

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Well, by the time you've finished reading this, spiders will be small talk compared to zombies.

Rule #1: Zombies are slow. 
See one in the distance? RUN! See one stalking you? RUN! See one brandishing a hatchet and riding a unicycle towards you? In that case, laugh, cause it'll probably kill itself accidentally anyway. Don't worry about not being able to outrun them, because you can.

Rule #2: Zombies multiply.
Don't panic! I'm not here to explain to you how zombies make more of their kind (which can be interpreted whichever way you like XD), but if you see one zombie...there is definitely more in the area. So be on the lookout.

Rule #3: Zombies are dumb.
There's a big difference between you and a zombie. You've got a brain, and they don't (which is precisely why they're chasing you in the first place). Well? You weren't given that brain for nothing! Use your wit. Outsmart them. Do something smart like climb up an apple tree. Hey, you've got food weapons, and a shelter all in one! And I'll bet you zombies can't climb a tree to save their lives (XD).

Pep-talk Rule #4: Don't feel sorry for the zombies!
Don't give me the whole "But they were once humans too!" scenario. You think they're gonna feel your sympathy? You think they're gonna feel the pain that you feel for them? You think they're going to stop going after you just because you pity them? Um, gurl, whatchu thinking?! Run, for god's sake! Don't try to reason with them, make friends with them, or hypnotise them.

Rule #5: If you become a zombie...
Well, it was inevitable. You've survived a couple of weeks, months, years maybe. And now, you're a zombie. Don't worry, now you can have some fun! Go chase those humans. Stagger around like a complete idiot. And remember, if there are plants standing in your way and attacking you on someone's lawn, EAT THEM.

99.9% guaranteed chance of survival if you follow this guide.
^^Totally.

If you are in doubt that this amazing guide doesn't work, here is a quiz to see how long you would survive in a zombie apocalypse. But you're better off with my guide, just saying. //tosses hair//

Phobias

"It is a curious thing, Harry, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well."

-Albus Dumbledore
(to Harry)

Sometimes, I'm so glad most people that read my blog don't know me IRL. The people who do read it are nice people. Very very nice people. In fact, they're so nice, that after they read this post they won't come up to me and start shoving balloons in my face.

Here are some of my phobias. Just, y'know, conveniently there in case you need to blackmail me in the future.
  **Note: I can't put any other pictures in besides the balloon picture because the others scare me so much TTvTT

Globophobia ~ fear of balloons

I hate balloons. Hate hate hate 'em. I don't get how people can stand them! They're feral, they are. They're just waiting for you to drop your guard and then BAM! They explode in your face. This extends to water balloons as well, but not the throwing part (who doesn't like destruction by water balloon?!) For future reference, I will cry if you come near me with a balloon.

Ligyrophobia/Phonophobia ~ fear of loud noises

This is probably related to the whole balloon phobia thing. I can't stand sudden loud noises. Even if I'm expecting them. Stuff like balloons popping unexpectedly (nasty foul creatures) or party poppers going off.

Coulrophobia ~ fear of clowns

This is a recent fear: after watching Poltergeist (2015 remake), I am seriously scared of clowns. I've never found them creepy before, but after seeing the movie, I was expecting clowns to jump out at me from every crack and crevice. Brr.

Hemophobia ~ fear of blood

I don't like seeing other people bleeding. It scares me, especially if I'm friends with them. I'm fine with watching myself bleed, or watching people die from blood loss in a movie (it's quite amusing, actually XD). 

Nyctophobia ~ fear of the dark

Let me get one thing straight: I am not scared of the dark. I am scared of what's in it. Especially after watching horror movies (or trailers, for that matter: oh my god, Insidious 3 //faints//) or the occasional creepy Doctor Who episode. However, I refuse to sleep with a teddy bear. It's too damaging to my dignity.

Well, that's it. What are you scared of?

Updates

Ahhh I haven't posted in ages! (As quoted by one of my friends, "What the hell is taking you so long to post, it's been over a week!") In fact, it's been almost two weeks...

First, I need ideas. I'm right in the middle; I don't want to go on a blogging break, but I'm losing my creative streak. So give me your souls I mean ideas!

Secondly, I've finished all my assignments, so I will have more time to blog, probably twice a week instead of once.

And finally, here are some things.

Poem #3
(My friend pleaded with me to post this on my blog. I said no. But here it is, so if you're reading this right now, you're not allowed to tell me to hurry up at my locker for a week.)

It doesn't take much to hide how broken you are.

A carefully placed smile.
A half-hearted joke.
A dead body.

No one will notice.
That's all it takes.

That's all it ever takes.

Drawings
(Here are some doodles and stuff I did in my spare time.)

I didn't finish her...whoops. I couldn't be bothered,
that's why there is no shading.

Her legs are so fat nyuuh
Also no shading..

You can't really see the back of the hat...stupid lighting.
This is a girl wearing a creeper hoodie.

LUCY ERMAGHEERD FANGIRL ATTACK
Okay guys, this is Lucy Heartfilia from the anime, Fairy Tail.
That symbol up in the corner is the guild mark.

Harry Potter Series

Well, I'm so close to finishing the HP series, and I have to say that I'm obsessed with yet another book series. But I don't think I really have the right to fangirl over HP just yet, since I'm not finished yet. I also have to watch all the movies, cause movies. 

I know I should have read the series earlier, and I regret not doing that. When I was little, I picked Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone up, turned to the first page with my pudgy little fingers, read the first chapter, and (you may throw tomatoes at my younger self) said I DIDN'T LIKE IT. I haven't picked it up until this year (you may also throw tomatoes at me).

I shall keep you updated on this new obsession.

~

And now, I am off to watch Fairy Tail (and do more homework...//sighs//). I'll try and post tomorrow!