Saturday, 14 March 2015

The Defensive Curl/Ball

Hi guys. Just taking a break from writing a cheat sheet. NO, I SWEAR I'M NOT CHEATING! This is actually a legit thing for maths tests. Thank god. They are also called summary sheets, and it's basically where you just write down all the formulas and stuff that will help you during the maths test.

Today I shall teach you an awesome move called the 'Defensive Curl'! You may also call it the 'Defensive Ball'. This is an ancient ninja technique that was used thousands of years ago to protect yourself from somebody who was currently invading your space bubble (with a five metre radius) and poking your arm repetitively. Okay, that may just be my emo self. But nonetheless, here are step by step instructions on how to master the art of defensive curling.
  1. You must be aware of when to use this miraculous power. Never use it during class time, otherwise your teacher will think you're having a very contained seizure. Only use this as a last resort, when "DON'T TOUCH ME!!!" doesn't work.
  2. Start backing into a corner. If you can't then a wall is good too. This gives your enemies less space to attack you. 
  3. Suddenly, drop down into a ball, with your head tucked in and your knees clutched to your chest. This needs to be very synchronised. 
  4. You will notice that your attacker will have stopped. Stay in this position until you are sure that he/she has stopped laughing at you and has removed himself/herself from your space bubble.
  5. Unfurl yourself and calmly go back to what you were doing.
This skill takes about ten years to master completely //cough// actually ten minutes //cough//. I recommend you practice everyday. Good luck! 

~ayumii

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